19 Dec 2013

Lethal Ladies #19 - Commentary

First, I have to write it.  Then, I have to read it.
As usual, please read the chapter before continuing.

The first scene let me show what Rose's actions were doing to Sexton.  Rose is essentially Columbo right now, keeping Sexton off-balance.  For writing both this scene and this story, I pictured it as a movie, with the camera focused on the key character for the most part.  There were and will be chapters where the camera floats a bit, but I tried to stay with one character as the main focus.  I tend to do this with most of my works; it's a visual metaphor for writing.  If I can picture the scene, I can write it.

A quick note about the "inner editor", as NaNoWriMo puts it.  The Office of Letters and Light want us NaNo writers to turn off our inner editors and just write.  What I've found is that I need my inner editor.  I work out the first draft in my head, letting the editor fix problems before I even type a letter.  I may have mentioned this before, but when I wrote longhand, my hand would cramp due to an old injury.  I wanted the words correct before I wrote them, saving the time and pain of further drafts.  It didn't help my English marks; I only had the one draft when I bothered to do assignments and the teachers wanted first, second, and sometimes third drafts.  Wasn't happening.  My inner editor, though, has been refined in the over twenty-five years since then and can get the words in a decent order so that when I type, I'm just making minor corrections.

The next scene reunites the Ladies.  Yes, it does happen in the same park that Sexton was in during the first scene.  I had looked via Google Maps for a park in St. Louis and realized that De Soto Park was big enough to allow both groups to be in it without seeing each other.  The scene gave Amber a bit of spotlight time where she could shine without being the lodestone for the others, particularly Allison.  The cars, the '74 Camero and the '07 Charger, were chosen solely because of their looks.  Dodge had reintroduced the Charger for the 2006 model year, about the time I was writing.  Amber makes a good point; there are cars that are as much works of art as they are vehicles, and not just the high end sports cars.

The missing Rogue, if you remember from last week, is the office manager, Tyler.  Sexton and his men were chasing four cars, but Rose wasn't in any.  She had recruited her employee to drive the fourth car.  The Ladies split back up and Amber's geekiness returns.  I wanted Rose in the classic muscle car; I couldn't see her in the newer Charger.

The Amber spotlight continued into the next scene.  Allison, for a lack of a better word, is "proper".  While she is in a technical field, she doesn't believe she needs to sacrifice her femininity to be taken seriously.  She also has expensive tastes.  If Allison were a pony, she'd be Rarity.  Amber, though, embraces her tomboy side.  She's young, and was precocious as a child.  Amber would be Apple Bloom if she were a pony.  There's also a hint of hero worship on Amber's side towards Allison and, though not shown this chapter, to Rose and Elena, too.

Tomorrow, Sexton isn't down and out yet.
Saturday, over at MuseHack, "So You Want to Adapt a Story".
Coming soon, Shadowrun, Traveller, and BitCoins, oh my!

, my hand would cramp due to an old injury.  I wanted the words correct before I wrote them, saving the time and pain of further drafts.  It didn't help my English marks; I only had the one draft when I bothered to do assignments and the teachers wanted first, second, and sometimes third drafts.  Wasn't happening.  My inner editor, though, has been refined in the over twenty-five years since then and can get the words in a decent order so that when I type, I'm just making minor corrections.

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