Hooray! Commentary! As always, please read the chapter first. Spoilers, sweeties!
Trying something new this time around. Each chapter will start with a Previously and end with a Next, like the Republic serials of old. I want to create the feel of a serial. If this works, I can continue with the idea in my NaNo2014 project, Unruly. Feedback will be appreciated.
With Beaver Flight arriving on the lunar base, Darkside One, this gives me a chance to introduce not just the four women properly but also the setting and the supporting cast. The name "Darkside One" comes from the base being on the dark side of the moon, the side facing away from Earth. The mission is secret, and placing the base out of sight helps maintain plausible deniability by the participating countries. Major Joan di Carlo isn't the commanding officer; she's is in charge of the patrols, including Beaver Flight.
Beaver Flight's home squadron, 404 Squadron, does exist. The 404 Long Range Patrol and Training Squadron, part of 14 Wing, is based out of Greenwood, Nova Scotia. Instead of helicopters, though, the Squadron flies CP-140 Auroras airplanes used for long range patrols. I *ahem*borrowed*cough* the Squadron's name to take advantage of the HTML error, "404 Page not found", to reflect that Beaver Flight is fictional and doesn't exist. Computer humour.
The problems with the name of the flight get brought back up by the women themselves. Victoria doesn't have a problem, but she's letting her inner twelve-year-old out. The rest could have let the name slide if no one else said anything. The discussion, such as it is, reflects the thoughts I had in my head at the time. The concept is great, a flight named after Canada's national animal, to go along with the other national animals. The execution has a problem when the flight is composed solely of women. Um, oops? Mind, the name is useful for getting attention on shelves and in lists. Use the innuendo for good, not perversion, and such.
Tomorrow, Chapter 2, Settling In.
Also tomorrow, over at Psycho Drive-In, Howard the Duck.
Saturday, over at MuseHack, The Wolverine.
Also Saturday, check out Comics Bulletin for comics-related reposts of /Lost in Translation/.
The "Previously" and "Next" thing is very clever. A good way of reminding people what happened, since it's (presumably) been a while since the last reading, plus makes people want to return. I tend to make an effort to reframe my first paragraph for my ongoing serial, but may consider stealing this idea. It occurs to me that we see it on modern TV shows too (like "Agents of SHIELD") where it might not even be the previous episode in the "previously on" clip, but it's something historically relevant to the story going forwards. Kudos.
ReplyDeleteNot much to say about the rest, and though "404" went over my head, it's clever to see what the author had in mind.
The "Previously" and "Next" were a test run for this year's NaNo. It's working well enough, though a small pain to retrofit. The idea came from the new Battlestar Galactica, which showed both what happened and what was coming. Good point about the relevance. I'll have to remember to go further back when needed. The "404" reference was more an added level to the name than anything else.
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